CoS: Damian xx Tali RP 2: 1

The sun's rays scorched the already hot pavement under paw as the sun began to shift into it's noon position. Shadows were few and far between as a grey figure searched for a place of refuge amongst the broken down buildings, her blue scarf nearly becoming unbearable to wear under such heat. Her blue eyes shifted from side to side, curious to know if she would have enough time to go back to the camp for a few hours and get some well needed rest, especially since the group of raiders she had been with had practically told her to get lost. Obviously, they were just as irritated by the fact that Damian thought they needed a guard as she was at the fact that she was being forced out and about way more than she really needed to be. She sighed, her blue eyes closing for a moment as she sat down, wondering why she hadn't joined Cahaya instead of Suran. Of course, she hated the gang now, but back when she had first learned about the gangs? She could have joined then... but something had told her that Suran was more responsible than the Cahaya... something had pushed her to go in that direction towards the warehouse... She shook her head and grunted, slowly standing up as her body tensed up. She was beginning to get used to her routine, although, she now had an even shorter temper than before. How far away from the warehouse am I? She wondered as her paws touched the hot pavement, causing her to grimace inwardly. Then she saw it, looming not to far into the distance. She'd be able to get there and rest for a few hours, maybe even converse with a few of her friends that she had made... She smiled at the thought. She hadn't exactly had much time to do anything and seeing friends sounded... normal... She shook her head, suddenly taking off and jumped onto the boxes, up into the entrance, and finally, inside of the warehouse. She looked back and forth, her face suddenly falling into a frown. Nobody seemed to be awake or out and about.... It was official, she had no luck.

The dark gray and silver tabby paced angrily in his den, feeling like his mind and heart were waring with each other, going up and down in some strange, elaborate dance- Or maybe a twisting and swirling roller coaster ride? All becuase of that stupid guard! Snarling, her dug his claws into the carpet, closing his mossy green eyes. Three faces fought to show more prevelant in his mind, two dead and one living. BUt... What... "Dammn it!" The Suran Leader hissed, jerking his head violently up, the bea dhanging from his cheek fur swinging erratically from the movement. It didn't make any sense, and yet it made as much sense in the world as anything else. It was strange, confusing, and most of all, terrifying. Terrfying for him. He had bad luck, horrible luck, a curse. That's all it was, all it had to be. Feeling his shoulders slump, the silver and gray tabby made his way out of his den, looking around anf reezing. Damn it! He really was cursed, wasn't he? That guard, her, was standing at the entrance, looking around. Crouching, Damian stole across the wall, heading for the stairs and racing up. Hurriedly, he glanced around, deciding to go to the end of the hallway and into the corner room. It was the darkest room in the building, no lights, no windows, no nothing. A solitude of darkness... And the perfect place to escape a she-cat who might not be too happy with you.

The she cat sighed, letting her head fall as she considered what she could have done to have such terrible, rotten, luck. She took a few steps forward, her nose suddenly catching a familiar smell. Was that Crystal or was it Damian? She couldn't tell, since both siblings held a fairly familiar scent. She glanced up, only catching sight of a tail as it disappeared around a corner. She growled, lurching forward towards it. There was no way that this cat, whichever sibling it was, was going to get away from her. She listened, following the scent with an open mouth. She raced up the stairs, looking around as she reached the top. Where did it go now? The hallway before her seemed to have enough open doors to keep her looking for a little while, but she didn't mind that. She slowly took a few steps forward and glanced from side to side. She sniffed the air, taking a few steps forward. She growled. "I know you're up here!" She called, knowing from scent that few cats came up this way. Her fur stood on end as she crept forward, sniffing the air every few moments until she pinpointed the room that the cat in question was hiding in. She slowly took a peak around the corner, her eyes narrowing as she tried to see if she could recognize if it was Damian or Crystal. The room was so god damned dark! If it was Damian, she had a bone to pick with him, and if he was trying to hide from her, she'd show him just what she thought of her new schedule. If it was Crystal.... well, she'd try to be a bit calmer... though at this point she was rather upset that anybody was trying to avoid her.

Damn that blasted she-cat! Why the hell did she have to follow him like this? She must secretly want to talk him or something. Backing away slowly from the entrance, her felt himself backed up into a corner, his green eyes slitted angrily. He was the ******* leader of the gang, why the hell was he cowering in the dark from an idiot she-cat? Why was he so terrified of her? Oh, right. Because those stupid things he called feelings were on the fritz and causing him a helluva bunch of problems. Lifting his lips in a silent snarl, he pressed himself against he wall and the ground, making his body as small as possible. Maybe he could convince her that he was an Infected cat? Nah, here in the gang warehouse? That's impossible, so of course she wouldn't believe it.

The she cat twitched an ear as she glanced back and forth, her eyes narrowing as she tried to let her eyes adjust to the dark. She took a few steps forward, her tail lashing back and forth in rage. "Crystal... Damian..." She meowed in a rather calm tone. In all reality she wanted to snarl the words out in anger and come ripping into the room, attacking the cat with no questions asked, but, as she thought about Crystal... she couldn't bring herself to do it. She sighed, noticing the dark flicker of movement as the creature pressed itself further down onto the ground. Features were slowly becoming a little easier to see, but she still couldn't tell who it was. She growled. "Blast it, Crystal if that's you speak up before I-" She couldn't bring herself to even finish her sentence. She wanted to tell the she cat, if that was who it was, to speak up before she tried to kill her, but of course, that wouldn't work... "And if that's you Damian, god damn it you're going to get an ear full of it." She narrowed her eyes, unable to suppress the snarl that was hidden in her tone. She was not happy with the Suran Gang leader.

Damian rolled his eyes. Damn she-cat. She thought she was having it rough? He just left her exhuasted enough not to think. Him? Ha! He had to deal with too much thinking and it was driving him insane. Her problem, lack of sleep. His, insanity. His was a bit bigger than hers, but whatever. Glancing around, Damian tried to figure out how to escape There didn't seem like much... BUt... He and his sister looked similar, smelled similar, maybe... With a cracking hoarse voice, Damian spoke softly. "I... I'm sorry, Talicka. I have a cold and... I just didn't want you to catch it." Was it high but croaky enough to sound like a sick Crystal? Damian sure hope it did, cause that was probly the only way he'd be able to escape, if Talicka though he was Crystal instead. Great. Now I'm chaning genders....

The she cat tilted her head to the side. A cold? Didn't want her to catch it? She had seen Crystal earlier that day and she had looked and sounded just fine. Besides, something was... off about this voice. It was too gravely to actually be Crystal's... wasn't it? Gah, in her own state she couldn't tell if she was just hearing things or if Damian was trying to pass off as his sister. She closed her eyes, trying to consider the possibilities of it being Crystal and weighing it against if it was Damian. Damian would have had more of a reason to hide then Crystal, even if Crystal was sick... she didn't see the she cat darting off into a pitch black room in order to hide her sickness. No, she would have probably at least mentioned that she wasn't feeling well the moment she saw her... She slowly took another step forward. If I can just get a closer look, I'll be able to tell. She thought to herself, slowly slinking into the darkness. She was having trouble believing anything she had just heard. "Damian." She growled angrily, her tone turning harsh. Dear Luke, if this really is Crystal, I'm going to have to apologize a million times over and pray that she actually forgives me for being so mean sounding....

Silence reigned, and Damian became hopeful. Maybe she was actually going to fall for it! Oh, he certainly hoped so. He didn't exactly feel like being cornered by those angry blue eyes that seemed to be haunting him lately. Oh, no. Definitely not. Besides, hje may open up to her, as he'd already done... Well, he didn't exactly say he cared, but he hadn't shown that he truly didn't care, either. It was still kinda... Iffy for them both, and he wasn't so sure he wanted to see where this would go. But he could feel the air as she moved forward, and her growl shot his spirits down. "Well... ****." Was all he said before he ducked and spun, slapping his tail across her face and darting for the side, racing to the entrance. Damn it, she was a bit too smart in this situation. Maybe he could loose her if he got her lost? It was a fruitless gesture, but it may work. If he could get out of the room fast enough, that is.

The she cat jumped forward, blocking the doorway before he could get too close to it, since she hadn't exactly gone more than nine or ten steps into the room before he had tried to make a break for it. He might have been a fast cat, but he definitely wasn't that fast. She growled, rather irritated with the tom for even trying to run. What the hell was he thinking? That she was actually stupid enough to think that there was more than one exit in the pitch black room? Her nose curled up in disgust. "You really think I'd let you slip out the door?" She meowed, nearly smiling as she did so. What the hell was wrong with her? Didn't she wish to claw his eyes out and scream at him until she was blue in the face? Surely that's what she should have been doing. But, something was holding her back. Whether it was her new found confusion with the tom for his act of kindness in not telling the other cats about her break down or because of that small bit of... affection? Was that the right word? he had shown her, she couldn't tell, but something was holding her back on the onslaught she wished to commence.

"Well, I wouldn't say let me." He meowed, standing straight as she blocked his way out. ANy other cat and he'd calw and bite and potentially kill if they dared stop him. SO why not... Her? This was all too confusing and way too much was going on in his head for him to make heads or tails of it! "I was expecting more of... Hm... Well, maybe I'd get lucky for once when it comes to dealing with you. Apparently, the odds are never in my favor when you're involved in the equation." Just sound calm and assured and she wont know you're actually freaking out on the inside. That's always a good plan. HIs green eyes roamed the darkness, trying to sense out another opening he could use. Was... Was that movement of air on the fdar wall? Possible. Maybe he could sidle over to it and escape that way.

She rolled her eyes. "Is that why you've damn near tripled my work oad?" She mewled, sounding like a hurt kitten. She quickly shook her head. What the hell was wrong with her?! She wasn't that upset over the workload was she? Was she that angry at him for practically avoiding her? Oh dear, luck was not on her side if she was showing this side of her to the tom. No weakness... She had always been about showing no possible weakness to cats she didn't trust. She wasn't perfect by any means, but by showing that one simple tone, she had shown a crack... an easy way for somebody to worm themselves into her life... an opening that could cause so much more damage than she wanted to deal with. She couldn't show just how confused and upset she was! No, she was afraid of what he might do with it. Her eyes flashed for a moment in pained confusion, the emotions on the inside quickly defaulting to her outside appearance. She growled at herself, closing her eyes for a moment, forcing herself to go back to the firm mold of indifference that she held around so many others. There was no way she'd actually let him see the confused and hurt. She opened her eyes again, rage flowing through them, but for once, it wasn't directed at Damian. It was directed at herself for being so easily sidetracked. "Is that why you've been avoiding me? Even after that.... that....." She had no words to explain the moment they had exchanged out of the warehouse... She couldn't bring herself to say it.

She gave a hurt mew, commenting about her workload. He froze, staring at her, though in the dark you couldn't see his eyes soften, but perhaps a sense of his posture changing. He wanted to step forward and pull her into his chest, to apologize to her for his actions and tell her it would be better, that he'd stop. BUt he held back, his muscles tightening to refrain from doing so. Damn her! WHy did she make him like this? It was right, it wasn't allowed, and it damn well wasn't approved. SHe spoke haltingly, though. and he cringed inwardly. "Now, why would I possibly be avoiding you? I just figured since you were a tough cat and liked challenges I'd see how much work I could put you under before you gave up. I expected you to last much, much longer, Talicka. But, perhaps I misjudged you." Yup, get her off the topic of their... Whatever it was. If she was angry, it would be easier.

Her temper flared in an instant as she stood there, awaiting his response. She was so confused on why he was doing this to her. "I just figured since you were a tough cat and liked challenges I'd see how much work I could put you under before you gave up." Her ears became pressed against her skull, her heart hammering at the thought of him misjudging her. Why did she strive so hard to prove herself to him? His opinion, despite being her leader, wasn't important. She wasn't trying to become anything more than what she was, so why did his words feel like a slap to the face? That couldn't have been why he was doing this too her, and she actually didn't mind the work load anymore. It had become a part of her routine, even if she hated the fact that she wasn't with cats she knew as much as she had been before. She had always enjoyed having at least some room to do what she wanted, but to say that she was caving in under the work was like accusing her of lacking in her duties. It was a mental stab at her own pride and set ways. She hated when cats didn't do enough for the gang and to act as if she was one of those lazy cats that didn't give a **** was probably one of the worse suggestions Damian could have possibly ever made. She growled, her temper flaring as he tossed her off subject. She knew what he was doing, but she had to explain herself, had to make it seem like she was doing just fine under the pressure. "I'm doing just fine under the workload Damian. If I had a problem with it, I would have been in your den making you regret the fact that you were ever born." She dug her claws into the ground beneath her, not entirely sure if she was standing on really thin carpet or a wood floor. She didn't really care either, if her claws got stuck in the wood, it was probably for the better. Besides, she was getting used to the work, even if she was normally too tired to stand up half the time. "I'm more up-" She stopped. There she went! Nearly admitting that she was more upset with the fact that she had thought he had been avoiding her, which seemed more and more likely to her than anything else as she sat there and talked to him. She wanted to kick herself harder than ever before as she stood there, waiting for his response.

SHe was silent, apparently thinking ove rhis words. Or just that pissed that she was going off in an inner rant. The latter he believed moer than the former, sadly enough for the guard. BUt he could feel the air thicken with the tension between them, and he didn't like it one bit. Slowly, he began to edge toward the shifting air. Even if it was a hole, he decided there was a chance he could squeeze through it. Talicka was thicker set than the tall and lanky tom, so he decided she would have more trouble following him if it was a hole. If it was something else, well... He'd have to figure out a new plan. "Really? My, my, my. So you're handling it well? Perhaps I should give you more to do. Would be intersting to see what it takes to break you." He meowed scathingly,, tail flicking over to flick her opposite ear gently. Maybe she'd take the touch as him moving in that direction, therefore moving away from him and giving him a better chance at escape. But she'd already proven to be a smart cat, so.... "YOu're more what, Talicka? GOn on, tell me. It's just us and the darkness."

She closed her eyes, trying hard to figure out what to do as the tension thickened between them, and his words weren't proving much better. Give her more of a work load? Why was he so interested in seeing how far she could go before she completely broke down? It made little to no sense! She closed her eyes, fighting back her own anger as it bubbled up once again. She hissed under her breath. No, more work would probably just cause her to be even more irritating and even less friendly to others, which was saying a lot since she wasn't exactly friendly to cats now. She frowned, holding back the whimper that wished to escape her throat. Then, she felt a light flick on her left ear, her entire body tensing up under his touch. Oh ****. She thought to herself as she thought about all the moments they had shared together, most had been spent being less than friendly towards each other. Then, the few times he had touched her came flooding back, causing her to let out the whimper that had been begging for release. She hissed, this time louder, as she thought about how angry she was at her body's jerky reactions to nearly everything he did. His touch always caused the worst of her feelings to bubble up, especially the confused chaos that loved to remind her that she had some sort of feelings for him other than complete and utter loathing. She growled, looking in the direction she had last seen him, trying to distinguish his lanky body. Of course he had gone to the opposite side of her... what was he trying to do? You're more what, Talicka? Go on, tell me. It's just us and the darkness. She lifted her head up, ears twitching in a confusion of ups and downs as she tried to make heads or tails of what he was saying. Was it just him trying to trick her? Did he genuinely want to know? She closed her eyes. "I don't want you to hear it." She said softly, at least admitting that much to the grey tom as she forced her entire being to resist the temptation of speaking.

As his tail touched her ear, he felt her flinch. He paused mid-step, warring with himself. On one paw, he wanted to stay and explain himself, explain why these things were going on. BUt.. Hell, he didn't even understand it fully himself, and he didn't really want too, either. On the other paw, he just wanted to get out of there as fast as his paws could carry him, which is rather swiftly, one might add. And yet still... No matter how much they went at one anothers throats, or threatened to do any of the various **** they did, somehow... Somehow it didn't really seem to matter, as if they were attracted to one another like moths to flame. I don't want you to hear it. THat was the decision maker. He turned towards her, padding slowly around her, before stopping behind her and sitting down. "I can pretend I don't know." He meowed calmly, flicking an ear. "There's a lot of things I pretend I don't know. What could be so bad that I shouldn't hear it?"

I can pretend I don't know. She turned towards the direction of his voice at once as he spoke, her paws shaking slightly as she stood to face him before quickly settling down. She didn't like having a cat at her back... too much could go wrong in too many ways if she actually allowed them to continue the conversation, besides that, she wanted to face him, even if she couldn't see his face. There's a lot of things I pretend I don't know. She grumbled lightly at that note, the words suddenly falling out of her mouth as she lost control of her wits. She had no idea how to reign it back either. "Yeah, I know that." She meowed, her tone changing from anger to that of confusion. The wall she had been so careful to build up was coming tumbling down before she could even deal with the aftermath. She could try to reconstruct it, but it seemed as if she had fallen in too deep. "You've been acting as if you don't know what happened inside of that damn warehouse... You...." She couldn't bring herself to say that he saved her, even if that was what he had done. So she skipped it, not wanting to stay on anything for too long. "You didn't say a word to anybody, not even any of the guards.... I... I'm upset because...." She hung her head, feeling ashamed. " because you seem to be avoiding me... and I'm not exactly sure why you have been or why I'm upset about it. " She hated how she had crumbled under him simply asking her. He hadn't even tried to pry... it was like being with Crystal all over again the day Damian had licked her on the cheek... the day she had fallen asleep in his nest... They were being pulled towards each other, for some reason or other.

He tilted his head slightly as she spoke, his mossy green eyes riveted in the direction of her voice, ears facing towards her, intent on hearing every word. Well, he was slowly wading in. Hell, why wade? You could get used to the water so much faster if you jumped in head first. And... Isn't that what life was about? He waded with Squirrel and things were ruined before they even had a chance to explore what was really going on, either of them. "You're correct, I haven't told anyone. Besides, I don't see why I should. I only talk about things that a cat can over come with practice. Your probblem, well.. It's much different. It's up to you what happens regarding it, and no amount of training can fix it." A small silence, before her next words came out, sounding more quiet then before. "We don't get along very well, Talicka. YOu know this fact and would rather face an Infected then spend too much time with the other or admit to saying nice things to one another." He commented, wrappiong his slender tail around his paws. "And yet, we find outselves in these... Odd situations, and then our reactions to one another become different, more confusing for us both. I'm just keeping us both out of those situations before something... Happens to one of us." More precisely, you, at the rate my luck is going. He inwardly thought.

She sighed, thinking about what he had just said before she spoke. He was trying to run from whatever the hell they were going through, and despite her own confusion and need to try and talk things out, she couldn't really bother to be upset with him. She couldn't blame him for trying to keep them both out of whatever the hell this confusing and tiring relationship was. I'm just keeping us both out of those situations before something... Happens to one of us." She then remembered what his sister had said about the she cats he had lost before hand. The mysterious cat he had called kit came to his mind almost at once as she mentally tallied up all of the different things that he had said, slowly putting each little piece together into a large picture in her mind. He was worried. She suddenly realized, her eyes opening up in a whole different perspective. He wasn't avoiding her because he wanted nothing to do with her... He wanted to keep her out of harms way... since it seemed he thought he was impervious to damage. Though, she was more than confused as she continued in her train of thought, another slow sigh escaping from her throat. "Look... Damian... I know that you've said you're cursed.... I know that you've lost two potential mates... and I know that you are trying to keep me away because you think... something... bad... will happen to me. But... Surely you have to understand that we only have one life to live in this ****** up world we were given, and despite all of the bad things that are going on...." She paused, padding forward, not trying to get too close since she had no idea what she was doing. She had never felt quite like this... confusion and all. "We have to at least find some happiness for ourselves.... I'm not saying you have to be extremely nice to me or that we have to actually become something... but shouldn't you just...." She closed her eyes, sitting down and looking away from him. "Try to stop worrying about everybody else's safety and start thinking about what you want in life?" She stamped her foot into the ground, knowing that this had been the most she had spoken since her brother had disappeared, telling her that she had to live her own life without him, since she was becoming to crazed to even speak with. She had found others after her long time in isolation, but this.. this feeling wasn't like anything she had experienced. She was afraid she'd loose it if she didn't act, but at the same time, she was deathly afraid of nearly everything that was happening. Her own confusion on how she felt about him... had she been pushing him away because the last group of cats she had cared for had abandoned her, died, or became infected? Had she been so loathsome of him because she too had baggage that couldn't be removed. "I know I may seem weak after my little... episode.... but honestly, I've managed to live for almost four years now... I've killed more infected than I can count and I've damn near been killed just about as many times... I think it's about time I...." Settled down? Found somebody that is okay with me? Let go of the past? She had no idea what she was going to say next, so she resulted in taking it in a different direction. "I think we've been at each others throats for other reasons than what you're thinking of...." This had to be the most civil, and long, one sided conversation she had ever had with anybody, let alone Damian.

He heard her sigh, and he felt his own body react, as if wanting to.. TO.. TO do... Something! Press against her, slash at her, run, what? So many instincts warring inside his head that he didn't know which one to listen to. SHould he... SHould he lean forward? Wait, what? He was... Was feeling.. Shy. He was feeling shy when it came to her! What in the hell? It felt like perhaps she wouldn't say anything until he made another comment, and so he opened his mouth to speak, only to have her start talking instead. He nodded in the dark to himself, feeling his heartbeat thrum in his paws, in his tail, making his ears burn and his pelt itch, like it wanted to float far away from the part of him that was intent on rejecting everything about her, the part that had driven him to avoiding her and making her workload so large that she couldn't even consider going to him. And how did that turn out? Well, obviously, horrible. Becuase here they were, together, alone, and the emotions were battling each of them, and neither knew what to do. "I didn't loose just one mate, Talicka." He meowed gruffly, feeling the grief wash over him, reliving the nightmare for a split second before shaking it away. "She wasn't too far away from giving birth to our kits, and I had to watch as the Cahaya's locked her out. THere was time for her to get inside to safety, but they locked her out. I had to watch and run as they tore my mate and my unborn kits apart." His claws slid out, raking the old wooden boards under him, a slight growl in his throat. "Since then I hated the Chaya flea bags, and made my reputation against them when I became leader." Why was he telling her this? DId he want her, really, to understand him? Or did he just want her to understand why he didn't want anything to happen, wouldrather force her to hate him rather than let whatever was happening blossom between them even more than it already had? "Then there was Squirrel, whom I nick named Kit upon our first meeting. She was still a student, a student Raider. BUt instead of cringing away, she retaliated. She had a back bone, and not many cats have a back bone against me. It.. Interested me. So, I trained her how to hunt a bit. We met up several times and.. SOmething... Was happening. I found her in an old nest my mate before and I used to share, one I had shown her not a few days before. The necklace I wear? It was my first mates. So I decided to give it to Squirrel. I found her dead with a smile on her face, the scent of Infected reaking over her body. She... SHe was going to join Suran once she became a raider, and she was so close, too... That music box in my den? It came from her, it was her gift to me." Damian paused, trying not to choke up. He hated how painful retelling it was, how with every word he could see every detail of her grinning face, count every hair on her nose as she lay in her last peaceful state. He remembered when she shared his nest for a night, how she snuggled up to him too happily. He shook his head violently. "I have to care and worry about others, to try and protect everyone in this gang. I'mk the leader, it's required that I do so." He meowed gruffly, stnading to all paws once more. "I already know what I want in life, Talicka. I want to see my sister with a mate before I even consider finding one for myself, if I should so choose to take on a mate. SHe's my last living family and I want to see her happy before I think about myself." His tail lashed angrily from side to side. There, he admitted it. He wanted to se his sister with a mate she loved who loved her back before he took one on of his own. He turned his head away, giving a soft snarl. "We've been at each others throats because that's our personalities. It's who we are, what has helped us survive everything we have gone through in our lives. There isn't much else too it." At least, nothing he would admit to. Yes, he wanted her. He could just look at her and feel it tug at him, but he ignored it, shoved it away, buried it. Did... Yes. No. Maybe. Maybe she wanted him too, why not? SHe kept bringing herself into these situations, she could obviously feel what was going on. ANd yet, instead of leaving.. She continued on this trail. But she didn't really say anything about it, merely hinted at it. But, still... One cats life for his happiness wasn't worht it, it never would be.

Whiskers slowly twitched as the tom unfolded, telling her everything that had happened between his first mate up to when Squirrel died. Talicka couldn't help but close her blue eyes, feeling rather upset over what was now loaded onto her back to carry around. Why was he being so forthcoming if he didn't trust her enough to keep this information to herself? She would never know... or at least, she was pretty sure she wouldn't get the chance to find out. She couldn't help but feel the need to do something anything in order to comfort him in his darkest hour as he relived his worst memories before the she cat. He hated Cahaya too, but for a much more logical reason than Talicka could have ever even dreamed of. Loosing not only a mate, but a family as well had to have been harsh. She knew how bad it had hurt when she had been left alone with her brother. She could still feel the ache that had taken over her chest some nights while she stared up at the ceiling of her new home in the Suran warehouse, unable to sleep because of the cries outside, though they were becoming fewer. To have to live through those moments again had to hard on him, and even though she stood rooted where she was, she wanted to rush forward and rub up against him, to tell him that she was there for him even if nobody else was. That she was willing to do anything.... She shook her head, what was she thinking? Why was she so close to standing up and running over to him? She wanted to scream because of her confusion. Did she actually care about him more than she let on? She didn't even know as her instincts told her to make a run for it, to get as far away from him as possible before she hurt herself... But still, she stayed put. She pushed back every single emotion that threatened to overrun her with such a furious force that she was slightly surprised he didn't see the struggle going on outside of her mind. Though, she barely gave any indicator that she was focusing on something other than the words falling from his mouth. She grimaced, hearing about the music box and Squirrel, her mind almost automatically going back to nights that she had been up and about the warehouse searching for something to get her ever racing mind to tucker out. She had watched him watch over the city, towards the infected below... watching them, like she used to when she had lost her parents. She hadn't even told anybody that she had seen him out and about, wrecking himself due to the lack of sleep. She was surprised he didn't appear infected himself at times. As he continued, certain questions arose in her mind. Should she tell him her story? About how she had lost her father and mother to infected.... about how she had watched them like a crazy, blubbering fool at night, wondering if her father was among their ranks. Then, her brother leaving her, her family gone, her isolation... everything.... She couldn't help but wonder... It seemed as if things were getting rather sentimental between the two, which didn't bother her at all, she enjoyed this.... she enjoyed just being able to listen to his voice, even if he didn't notice she was pleased with him just being there talking . It seemed as if they were going to sit there and continue exchanging stories until suddenly the conversation turned sour. He had changed in the direction of his sister, telling her that he was not looking for a mate. No... her heart had stopped, she felt dizzy, her entire body nearly loosing control over itself as it fell from his lips and into the cold, trembling air. He didn't want to find a mate; he didn't want anything to do with her. She had felt as if she had fallen down into a deep dark pit with infected raging around below. He heart had fallen, and with it, her spirit suddenly disappeared. She attempted to stand, her claws digging into the floor for support as she slowly, and shakily, rose upwards. All this feeling was for nothing, and with that sudden revelation, she couldn't stop the sudden flow of emotions that were overcoming her senses, no matter how hard she tried. She shook her head, her voice nearly cracking, nearly showing how upset she was as she mewled "You're wrong." He had turned to their personalities. She wanted to fall to hear knees and tell him that he was wrong. She knew, in her deepest darkest heart of hearts, that she cared more for him that she had ever cared or another tom. She wanted to tell him, to let him know how she felt, even if he didn't like her in that aspect. "I know that there is something about you that draws me too you... like how we're so attracted to the light of day...." She was unable to hold back the sob in the back of her throat. "Damian...." She couldn't say anything, there was nothing to say to stop him, and she didn't wish to fall even further into the trap. She was upset over a tom, something she had never even imagined. What was going on with her?